Who Are The Most Miserable People?

People that look inward all the time tend to be unhappy.

As Gordon B. Hinckley put it, “Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves.”

There are three things you can to do look outward which will lead us to happiness:

1. Lose ourselves in service to others
2. Decide to see the blessings in our circumstances
3. Express gratitude

Here is the rest of the above quote, “The happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others…By and large , I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking of ourselves.”

A great example of recognizing blessings and expressing gratitude for them is Joseph Smith.

If you are unhappy or struggling, take the time to see the blessings God has given you and express gratitude for them. It will make a difference.

- DC 128:20-24

Don’t ask “what is right?”, ask “what is God’s will?”

A doctrine is -- be humble. The associated covenants are that God will lead us by the hand and he will answer our prayers.

If you want to go where God wants you to go, there is no better way than to be led by his hand.

As we are humble we will seek out God’s will.

Dietrich Bonheoffer, a German minister who stood up to the Nazi regime and was executed for it, said in his teachings, we should not ask God what is right but ask what is his will.

Seek God’s will first and then as you follow it, that is what is right.

- DC 112:10

How To Have More Self-Esteem and Well-Being

James E. Faust said,

If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being.

It’s one of the most difficult things to do, to forgive someone who has hurt you. And yet when we find the strength to do it, when we exercise faith in God and in his word, we can. And the result is feeling peace and happiness.

Sometimes we want the person who hurt us to acknowledge what they’ve done before we will forgive them.

Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours.

The folly of rehashing long-past hurt does not bring happiness.

Forgiving those who hurt us is liberating and enables us to progress.

- DC 98:23-27, 29-32 and “The Healing Power of Forgiveness” by James E. Faust

How To Have More Enjoyment and Freedom

We have more enjoyment and freedom in our life when we stay inside the proper boundaries.

 

Especially the boundaries that God establishes. It’s just the way it is.

 

This truth is illustrated well in this short video as it shows people skiing inside the boundaries and out, and what the consequences are of each.

 

Video, "Within Bounds"

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Powerful Doctrines and Covenants

The youth in my seminary class read DC 81-83 which is full of powerful doctrines and covenants.

Rather than have me tell them what to learn, they studied it and shared what they learned and why it mattered.

Here is a quick summary of what each shared:

Ryan	DC 83:4-5	neat that children have claim on parents
	DC 82:6	it’s like a warning to be vigilant
Megan	DC 82:7	frightening, don’t like it, so don’t want to be that way
	DC 82:23	I don’t need to feel the burden of judging others
Colleen	DC 81:5	it’s great to help other people out, blessing
John	DC 81:5	feels good to help others
	DC 81:6	I want to do this
Matthew	DC 82:10	we will be blessed for doing what he says
Pablo	DC 81:3	he will bless me
	DC 82:2	repent and stop sinning
Markus	DC 82:14	it’s our job, I’m part of the work
	DC 82:24	you can have everything
Taylor	DC 81:5-6	irrevocable law, if we help the poor we will be blessed
Maryann	DC 81:4	it’s the best thing we can do, we don’t have to cure cancer or do something huge
	DC 82:3	remember where blessings come from
	DC 82:5	there really is a war going on
	DC 82:23	this is comforting
Brittany	DC 82:1	forgiving is a big part of my life
	DC 82:16	do us good, he watches out for us
	DC 82:18	improving our talents I’m trying to do that
Eric	DC 81:7	seen Alpha & Omega before so it must be important
Spencer R.	DC 81:5-6	raising hands, like Hallelujah, is cool and enduring to the end is important
	DC 82:14	we each have our own Zion and should strengthen it so we’ll be protected spiritually and hold strong
Christian	DC 82:3	it’s talking about us, requires more, doesn’t make us better, we know better, thankful to have it
	DC 82:10	covenant between us and God
	DC 82:16	people complain about commandments but they are there for our good and for our happiness
Aisha	DC 82:5	he will help us if we turn to him
	DC 82:9	he lets us know what to do
Leanne	DC 81:6 & 82:10	these are tied together and include the promise of eternal life
	DC 82:4	we need to accept it

The Future is Bright

Your future is not determined by the conditions around you. It is determined by your faith, your choices, and your efforts.

- Elder Paul V. Johnson

 

Your future is bright because you make it so. Even if things seem to be tumbling around us there is a solid reason for looking forward to a bright future.

 

In my lifetime I have seen two world wars. … I have worked my way through the Depression and managed to go to law school while starting a young family at the same time. I have seen stock markets and world economics go crazy, and I have seen a few despots and tyrants go crazy, all of which causes quite a bit of trouble around the world in the process.

So I am frank to say tonight that I hope you won’t believe all the world’s difficulties have been wedged into your decade, or that things have never been worse than they are for you personally, or that they will never get better.

- President Howard W. Hunter

 

“People who go to work with faith, knowing the Lord will bless them if they do what’s right, are the ones with a bright future.

- Elder Paul V. Johnson

 

These might be challenging times but it’s not the first time there have been challenges. Good people of faith come through it and are better and stronger. That’s you!

So, go make yours a great life.

 

- “Make Yours a Great Life”, Elder Paul V. Johnson

Why we should forgive everyone

Someone offends you. You’re hurt, angry, and want retribution. Yet the Lord says we should forgive everyone. Why?

We are to forgive others not for the sake of the person that offended us, but for our own sake.

We benefit when we forgive others. A burden is lifted. Anger and hurt are removed. Positive feelings of peace and love fill our heart and the result is happiness and health.

That’s why we should forgive everyone!

- DC 64:8-11

Divine guidance for the rich and poor alike

Rich people:
Give to the poor or your riches will canker your soul.

Poor people:
Labor with your own hands, don’t lay hold on other people’s goods.

Both rich and poor:
Be satisfied, be pure in your desires, avoid greed, and you will have the “fatness of the earth”.

A man here in Houston was the CEO of a large marketing firm. One of his clients was Michael Jordan and he has pictures and a nice chair Michael gave him. He had a limo take him to work each day. He was rolling in money, wealth, and prestige.

Now he is destitute and has very little. What happened? He says that because he set his heart on the money and was prideful he lost it all.

Something to keep in mind.

- DC 56:16-18

Avoid being deceived

If it doesn’t edify then it isn’t of God. Edify means to uplift, to benefit in a moral or spiritual way.

Ask yourself when you listen to music, view entertainment, and in your education: does this edify? If it doesn’t then it’s not of God and is not going to be of benefit to you.

- DC 50:23

Have a happy marriage

A successful marriage relationship is established by following these two principles:

Accept the other person for who they are, including all the good and bad. Don’t try to change them.

Think more of the other person’s needs and desires than your own.

I believe that if both people live these principles they will have a strong and happy marriage.

- DC 49:15

Marriage is not our's to change

Marriage is ordained by God. Ordained means it was instituted by him, enacted by him, it's his law.

My belief is that since God ordained marriage therefore we don't have any right to change it. Making it different in any way than what God established makes it something else. It's not marriage any more.

Given that God ordained marriage it seems to me that governments should have no business with it. Governments don't tell churches how people should be baptized, for example. If a government wants to recognize unions between people then go for it, but don't call it marriage. Leave that to the churches.

- DC 49:15

Improving our seminary tools

After several years of trying to upgrade the ancient audio/visual equipment at our stake center not succeeding, I've decided to buy the new equipment myself and donate it to the 4 seminary classes (and other classes) taught at the Katy Stake Center. It will cost about $600 and will be given to the church.

If you would like to join me and contribute $20 to the purchase please click here:

The power of valuing others

Find value in others just as you value yourself. Esteem others as you esteem yourself.

The effectiveness of a family, team, class, church, friends, and other groups correlates to how much the individual people esteem others.

David Lilienthal was commissioned after World War II to head up the Atomic Energy Commission. He brought together many brilliant people who were stars in their own rights and had many differences in perspective.

There was a tremendous amount of pressure to get going on all their objectives. Instead of diving right in David took several weeks for them to get to know each other, to value others as themselves.

The result was a highly effective group that was extremely creative, productive, and were able to resolve differences quickly.

That is the power of valuing others.

- DC 38:24-25

Might, mind, and strength

Watch this if you want to see what serving and loving God with all your might, mind, and strength looks like:

Part 1 of 2

Part 2 of 2

- DC 33:7

See yourself as God sees you

People judge us so quickly based on appearances. Clothes, hair, looks.

God looks at our character, what’s on the inside. People look at our personality, what’s on the outside.

Therefore it’s better to be judged by God than by man.

Look at yourself in the way God sees you rather than the way people perceive you to be. Live your life so that God is pleased with you. Don’t worry if other people are pleased with you.

A related thought: when someone comes along and says they will save you from all your problems don’t count on them. People are fickle. They are unreliable. They are imperfect.

The only person that can save us from all our problems is God so put your trust in Him, not in other people.

- DC 30:1-3

Lying to myself

Our brains are rationalizing machines.

And the “lie” in the word rationalieze is the particularly dangerous part.

It’s so easy to justify terrible behavior that we sometimes do it without even realizing it. We lie to our self and in the process justify all kinds of crazy stuff.

Some people want to believe there is no God and so they look to science for all the answers. If there is no God then we don’t have responsibility and can do whatever we want. In spite of the fact that all evidence points to a Creator many people rationalize it away.

I used to wonder how people could commit atrocities. From the last century think Nazis and Communists for example. They were people just like us.

How could they have gone so far astray? Rationalizing.

Perhaps they believed the end justifies the means. If you start believing a lie it can lead to some pretty extreme and dangerous behaviors.

If you recognize even in small part that you are rationalizing, let that be a big red flag of warning. Consciously go back to correct principles and stick to them, don’t let the lies inside your head persist.

- DC 28:11-13

Common consent is brilliant

Gaining common consent in an organization is brilliant. It breeds unity, reduces politics, and increases the strength of the organization.

Where common consent is applied members of an organization are asked to either support or oppose the decisions made by the leaders. It puts responsibility on the members so there is more engagement.

When there is total support there is strength. When there is opposition there is opportunity to make things better. Interestingly, organizations that apply common consent have very little internal opposition or politics and are exponentially more effective in accomplishing their mission.

It’s a brilliant way to govern.

- DC 26:2

Learning is best when we seek and apply knowledge

We learn best when we are seeking for knowledge. However knowledge alone is not enough to really learn. Apply the knowledge and real learning happens.

Too many teachers are steeped in the industrial model of education where a teacher is the authority figure in the class, controls the class, and spoon feeds information to the students. This is about the least effective way for people to learn and really should be changed.

A more effective way of learning is where the teacher leads and the students teach. For example a teacher asks a thought provoking question and several students share their thoughts about it and a discussion follows where insights and experience are added – now everyone participates and everyone benefits. All are edified together when learning is done this way.

I hope we can change our mind set about effective learning, away from what is entrenched in our education systems for the last hundred years and back to a classical way of learning. We’d all be better for it.

- DC 88:118, 122-123

Trust in the youth

Our culture treats youth with very soft gloves. Not much is expected, not much is required.

I believe that the youth have it in them to be responsible and productive, they just need to be given the opportunity. They will rise to the occasion when there is a need.

Suppose that in one instant everyone in the world 20 years and older perishes. Would civilization cease to exist? No! The youth would take responsibility and get organized. They would work together to ensure the continuation of food production, caring for the young, and forming governments.

We can ask much more of our youth. They like responsibility. They like to be trusted and counted on.

And they do come through.

Don’t look for the BIG EVENT

When you have a big decision to make in your life and you seek help from God, how do you know what he is saying to you?

Big decisions like choosing what college to go to, who to marry, and what career path to take would all be more effective if we seek and receive input from a higher source than our self.

God’s pattern for teaching us is line upon line, precept on precept. It’s rare that there is a single BIG EVENT that defines what we are to do. His pattern is to show us a little, then a little more. As we learn more we get more.

Follow these steps in this order to learn to understand what we need to know: desire, seek, ask, discern, hear, and obey. Repeat.

- New Era September 2010, ‘Line upon Line, Precept upon Precept’, David Bednar